My Delirium
by kimberleenadine
Summary: Set after Blair ended it with Chuck in the elevator. She was just making it harder, and he was just messing with her delirium.
1. Out of my head, out of my self control

_a/n_: im a big fan of CB. Gossip Girl of course. but im getting round to reading the books as well. anyway, i think you'll like this. review please. erm. chuck comes to blair in a drunken state, after she briefly dumps him. & i will be updating it. :) TWO-SHOT!

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_stop playing with my delirium, 'cause i'm out of my head, and out of my self control - ladyhawke _

"So...Just like that you ended it?" Blair's friend, Serena, was talking with a soothing tone in her voice, and she was making Blair feel better about herself already. Because the way Serena said it, it sounded as if she were applauding her yet caring for her at the same time. Blair smiled to herself and cut the crusts off her sandwich she had just made.

"Yes...I'm fed up of playing games, so I've decided that I-,"

There was a '_Ding!_' sound and Blair sighed. "I think that's the pizza guy. I'll call you back." She said, and then pressed the button and hung up on Serena. The doors to the elevator opened and instead of the pizza guy stepping through, a rather drunk, and disorientated looking _Chuck Bass_ stumbled through. Blair paused, heart stopping and head suddenly pounding. She had merely ended with him a few hours ago - and now he is stumbling into her apartment drunk?

"What are you doing here." She asked sharply, catching him by the collar of his shirt and hauling him up. He's lucky it weren't his hair.

Instead of rightening himself, he sank to the floor on his knees, his face pressing into her abdomen. Blair stared down in shock at the young man attached to her body. His hands splayed across her hips and he was muttering things into her belly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, sorry." She faintly caught.

"Chuck," She breathed out. "Get up and get out." He lifted his head and stared up at Blair.

"Can you please forgive me?" He asked helplessly, his words slurring a little. Blair's heart broke a little more and she pried his hands off her hips.

"No Chuck - that was the last straw." Blair said forcefully as Chuck brought himself clumsily to his feet.

"There will be a thousand last straws between you and I." He whispered harshly, grabbing her forearms and tugging her close. "I will pull every one of them." He blinked and Blair thought her mind was playing tricks on her for she thought she saw slight wetness in his eyes. Of course this was all the drink talking.

But still, she let his hands run through her hair. Chuck breathed deeply. "I need you," He shuddered.

"Stop making an idiot out of yourself Chuck." Blair whispered. "You can stay here tonight." She turned to go, but he held her hand and so she had to lead him into the kitchen to fix him a glass of water. She ordered he drink it, but he wouldn't take it, so she had to lift the glass to his lips and make him. He'd drunken a lot, she could tell. "Come."

He followed her up the stairs, watching her graceful walk and the little bounce in her step. The way her hair was tied up off her shoulders and she wore a silk nightgown and what lie underneath he could only imagine. They walked past her room in order to get to the guest room. Chuck Bass was _not_ a guest room person. So he refused and instead let himself into her room - a room he was well aquainted with - and he kicked his shoes off and sunk onto her bed - a bed he was well aquainted with also.

"Chuck - what are you doing?" Blair asked hopelessly. He was impossible.

"Come here." He ordered sharply, holding her hand and pulling her gently towards him. She stood before him, a vision in silk and peach. Blair breathed heavily. How could he do this to her? Make her feel so sad but incredible at the same time. "Take it out." He gestured to her hair. She obeyed, stupidly, and tossed the scrunchie to one side. Chuck leaned forward and ran his hand over the smooth surface of her outfit. He tugged at the long piece that let it all come undone - including Blair. She was wearing a pink silk nighty, with a lacy design. It was simple, yet so addictive on her.

Chuck stood up, their bodies brushed as he did and he stood in front of her, taking off his jacket and then his tie, un-buttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. He watched her swallow, and then he grabbed her small body and pushed her onto the bed. She fell back, fast, and he was quick to crawl over her.

His lips pressed to hers, a frantic kiss beginning, and his tongue delved into her mouth with one quick move. His hands, unlike his mouth, were gentle, caressing her body and working the silky attire slowly off. Before it all came off, he grasped her thighs, took a deep breath and rolled onto his back.

Blair smiled, she couldn't help it. She found it amusing that when he needed her most, he would come to her and take advantage, yet by the morning she knew he would be gone. If they were to have sex - or possibly make love - he wouldn't be there for the aftermath.

"Chuck." Blair said, her voice half a moan and half a whisper. His eyes opened. She loved that look - he looked helpless and scared. "What is it you want?"

"I want you. I've always wanted you." He spat out. "As if it weren't that obvious."

"Why, all those times, did you leave me hanging. Why haven't you said it yet?" She was bordering her crying phase once more, and it wasn't going to happen, not now. Chuck sat up a little, he pushed his lips to hers and uttered '_just kiss me_' against her lips.

Blair sighed. His hands ran up the smooth expanse of her exposed thigh. He touched her in ways which she had dreamed about until a little cry escaped her lips, right into his ear and she felt him still a little. Once more he kissed her neck and reached forward to rub his hand over her breast. Blair lifted her hand to his, pushed down on it and let her head fall forward onto his shoulder. It had been too long since he had touched her like this. Far too long.

"You want me too, Blair. Don't you?" He asked, a small smirk on his face, breaking away from pleasuring her. Blair gasped.

"Of course I do. You know I do." Blair whimpered, she was just getting too desperate now. Where had her dignity gone?

Somewhere with her brain, obviously.

Blair began to unbutton his shirt. She smoothed her hands over his chest and felt him shiver. Chuck sat up so she could remove it from his body and throw it across the room. And then she began work on his pants; she pulled them off as well, and dropped them to the floor, watching him watch her. He pointed to what she wore. "Take it off." He said.

Blair smiled, embarrassed by her shakiness, and she pulled the bottom of it up, pulling it over her head and exposing her naked body to Chuck Bass, who had just examined every inch of her body and then, with one word, made her entire being shut down; "_beautiful_."

He grabbed her hips and pulled her down, cradling her body in his arms and running his tongue along her neck. Blair kissed his forehead while he did this. His hand slipped from her breast, down to her tummy where he stroked it, and then he turned his hand down, and began to slide it between their hips. Blair arched her back and groaned as he slipped one finger into her. She gripped his shoulders and then gasped roughly, flattening her head back into the pillow.

Chuck waited, adding one finger and then taking the other away, just making her ready before he too parted her legs more and then slipped inside of her. Blair stroked his face, and kissed his cheek. "I love you." She said, mindlessly. Chuck pulled his fingers out, blocking out those three words and instead pinning her hands above her head.

He reached down over the bed, into the pocket of his jeans and pulled his wallet out. Of course Chuck walked around prepared. He pulled a small packet out, and then let go of her hands so he could roll it over his hard shaft. Blair watched, squeezing her eyes shut.

Chuck looked down at her for one moment, eyes closed, chest rising and falling fast, hair splayed out, cheeks flushed. He felt his insides collapse. Gently, he parted her legs, and stroked the inside of her thigh, before pushing himself in. As he did, everything went silent, just the sound of their collective gasps circled the room and Blair found herself gripping the bed sheets while Chuck held her hips and kissed her softly.

He loved the little breathy sounds she made, the way when she moaned, she would start with a silent cry and then a small sound would escape. It occured to him briefly after he touched her waist, that finally, he had Blair's naked body sliding against him. It was euphoric.

"Chuck," Blair said, bringing him out of a haze. He slowed down, making it last. Blair ached. "When will you say it?" She whispered. Chuck hadn't been completely sober when she had said it first, in the bedroom that is. He blinked and took one long stroke inside of her, making her shudder and turn him onto his back. She anchored herself with her hands on his chest, her knees braced, and then she seductively began to roll her hips back and forth.

His eyebrows rose, his heart sped all of a sudden and he didn't know why. Was it because he was looking up at Blair? Seeing her gaze down at him. Were they making love? Or was this just another plain _fuck_.

If it were a fuck, it woudln't be so lasting. If it were a fuck, they wouldn't be catching each other's eyes.

Alas, Charles Bass had never made love before, so therefore he knew not what it was. He could only guess.

And then they both felt it, the peak reaching them. Blair's hands left his chest, travelled to his head and she bent down to kiss him softly, parting his lips and pushing her eager tongue into his willing mouth. Chuck sat up, working his hips to bring her to the edge only to let her down slowly and then bring her back. He circled his arms around her waist and she had to break away in order to let out a kept in groan, which was very loud and impatient.

He rolled her onto her back, face set in determination, and sped their love making up. Blair gasped, and struggled for air, thinking the orgasm would come quick, but no, he slowed down again, just as she was near, and she let out a laugh. "Evil!" She cried as Chuck began to bring her slowly to her apex.

"You love it." Chuck whispered in her ear, his words no longer a drunk slur.

Blair ran her hands over his back which had now been covered in a thin sheet of sweat, and she lowered her eyes, suddenly shy of Chuck's intense gaze.

"Look at me, Blair." He murmured against her jawbone and then he pulled back when she did. Again, he sped up, only this time he was going to make her orgasm last as long as he could. She felt it rip through her, her back arched, her perfect breasts rising to meet his chest, and she let out a small cry, which came out often and short. He wanted her to shout his name, and it was as if she read his mind, for to come from her lips shortly after thinking this was;

"_Chuck_!" It was like music to his ears.

He too, then, reached his peak, his hips on their own accord pumping fast. Blair held onto his shoulders again and ran her hands down his arms, catching his hands in hers and hold them. Chuck placed his mouth next to her ear, and softly whispered her name. She closed her eyes and relaxed, as did Chuck. And she stayed like that while he pulled out of her, with effort, and dropped the used condom into the trash can next to her bed.

Blair looked at Chuck. This was her favourite sight, she decided. His hair was dishevelled, his body sweaty, his face looked lost but elated at the same time, and he was breathing heavily. And then he turned his head and pinned her gaze with his.

"You look tired." He said gently. But Blair didn't want to sleep. Was this going to be the last time she'd see Chuck? Was he going to do a runner? She felt tears well in her eyes.

Chuck couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Blair cry. He scooted closer to her, and struggled to get the duvet over their bodies. And then Blair cuddled into his chest and held on tightly, kissing his chest lightly. Chuck swallowed thickly and let his head relax onto the pillow, wrapping his arm around her waist and tucking the other under the pillow.

She was just making it harder.


	2. Don't go, say you'll stay

_a/n_: :) enjoy. REIVEWREVIEWREVIEW. 'cause i want to progress in GG fanfics. :)

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_don't go, say you'll say, spend a lazy sunday in my arms, i won't take anything away - the stars  
_

The morning light spilled in through the window. Harsh and bright. Chuck's eyes narrowed and he shifted a little, not particularly liking this sudden headache that pierced through his head. He felt something - someone - move against his back and he remembered Blair sleeping next to him, as beautiful as an angel, most likely. He turned and looked at her, then he sighed and pulled himself out of the bed and stood up. He found his boxers on the end of the bed, and his jeans on the other side, then he picked up his shirt next to the door and changed swiftly. She moved in the bed, onto her back, and letting the cover slip down her torso so once more, he could see her chest.

It was hard to walk out of the door. He rubbed his eyes and crept down the stairs. Daroda was in the kitchen, making breakfast, and when she saw Chuck enter, she stopped what she was doing and in shock, dropped a plate, letting it shatter on the floor. Chuck jumped a little and looked at Daroda.

"Mr Chuck." She said obediently. "Eh...where is Miss Blair?"

"Sleeping. Don't wake her up till midday, please. She's had a long night." He tucked his hands into his pockets and continued to walk towards the elevator doors with a sure swagger. Only when he was enclosed in the elevator did he sink onto the floor and smack his head against the wall behind his head.

-

Blair felt the warmth pass over her face. It was the morning sun warmth and the smile spread across her face and she stretched her arm out in one direction, expecting to catch Chuck accidentally, and then she would be able to say sorry and cuddle back into his warmth.

But instead, her arm hit the pillow, the empty space, and she felt something like agony rip through her chest, and tears stang her eyes.

And then she found her dignity, it was hidden in his empty space, and she pulled the covers over her chest, feeling too naked for comfort, and ashamed of herself. So it had been a fuck. A long lasting one, that was glamoured to look like love. She couldn't believe it.

Blair pulled herself out of bed and took herself to her shower, rubbing off Chuck Bass and then she changed into something modest - a simple white blouse, and a black high waisted skirt which dipped to her knees. She wore no heels, and then she pulled a pair of stockings up over her knees and slipped her feet into a pair of ballet flats.

She met Daroda at the bottom of the staircase. "Morning Miss Blair." Daroda said. "I made pancakes, waffles, - anything you like."

Blair raised her chin, sure of herself. "Thank you Daroda. Has my mother called?"

"Yes, an hour ago, I told her you sleeping, and you wouldn't up until midday." Daroda followed the heart-broken teen into the kitchen and watched Blair fix herself breakfast. "Coffee?"

"Please."

And then Blair's cell rang. A part of her wondered if it were going to be Chuck, letting her know he was just back home, and he would want to meet her. But instead it was Serena. She answered it.

"Were you with Chuck last night?" Serena was quick to guess.

"Yes. But it was nothing." Blair said, placing a hot waffle into her mouth.

"Nothing? Sure. Chuck just came stumbling in, yelled at me, and he's been locked in his room since. What happened?" Serena asked.

"We...we just had sex." Blair admitted. "I...thought it was something but it wasn't." She lowered her voice to a whisper so Daroda couldn't hear. But of course, Daroda heard and saw all. Serena made a comforting sound.

"B, come round. Maybe-,"

"No it's not a good idea." She interrupted. "I'll see you later Serena."

-

Chuck stared up at his ceiling. Why did he walk out? He could have stayed, held her, kissed her, probably...they could have made love once more. The door opened and in came his beautiful step-sister, blonde hair flowing down her back, and again she was dressed in something you'd only see in a fashion magazine probably. He sat up.

"Chuck - you need to apologize to B." She said.

"Why?" He snapped. "Get out, I'm not in the mood." He ordered.

"She's coming round in an hour and if you don't have anything to say to her, I am going to chop something precious of yours off." She said spitefully and surely without a stutter. Chuck swallowed, cracked a joke about liking them feisty and then he stood up and fixed himself a new attire for the day while Serena walked out.

He shrugged on his coat and walked out of their apartment. If he were going to apologize once again to Blair, he was going to do it where no-one could interrupt them, and that was best in his limo.

He looked out for her carefully. And then he spotted a brunette girl with a sure walk and looking amazing in such a simple attire. Her hair was down, a scarf around her neck and she was staring straight ahead. Chuck opened the limo door and stepped out just as she was about to pass.

Blair nearly screamed, she jumped and stopped. "Get out of my way." She ordered. Chuck grabbed her and hauled her into the limo, only smiling because he was amused at her struggles which were pathetic.

"I hate you." She said.

"That's not what you said last night." Chuck said, leaning in to her.

Blair slapped him. Clean across the face.

He deserved it. This he knew. "I'm here to be civil."

"I'm done with civil." She sighed. "And I thought I was done with you."

"You'll never be done with me." He snapped.

"Why not?" She was losing her temper.

"Because I-," He broke off. Blair's ears perked up and she seated herself next to him, cupping a hand to his cheek.

"Because you what?" She asked softly.

Chuck's helpless look was back. He sighed. "Remember what I said to you? That night in your bedroom. Instead of it being the beginning - it would be the end." He said, hoping she would change her mind.

"I thought about that. It would be the beginning of something - something weird and hard to live with. And we would last, I know we would or else we wouldn't be here, right now. You keep chasing me. But you never want to stay with me." She spoke softly, into his ear, and moved her hand to his chest to feel his frantic heartbeat. "And you can't say you love me...Because you're romantically handicapped."

He smiled and turned his mouth to her ear. "Blair." He said.

"Chuck - eight letters, three words. Say them - I'm yours." She whispered. "Say them now. Or you'll never see me again. I will blank you completely - because I don't think I can take your games anymore." She said, wiping at her eyes.

It was quiet for a long time and then Blair kindly told the driver to stop, and she climbed out. Chuck watched her go, his chest aching, and he ran out after her. "Blair wait!" He yelled.

"I'm done waiting." She yelled back, turning to look at him as he advanced on her. "I'm done with-,"

"You don't know how much I _fucking_ love you."

Blair nearly fainted. She felt all her breath leave her and then she buried her head into his neck as that was how close he was.

* * *

_hour later in chucks room. _

Blair held his hand, guiding it to her backside again and she smiled. "Say it again." Chuck groaned huffed.

"I love you."

She smiled and giggled. "Again."

"What are you? Six?" He gave her a coy smile and gripped her behind with both hands as he kissed her. "I love you." He murmured.

She stopped smiling and instead, gave him a serious look. "I love you too." She nodded. "This is what you want? Isn't it?" She asked.

"I think I've always wanted it without realising." He said gently and kissed her and went to remove her skirt, but she stopped him and smiled.

"Just hold me Chuck. Let's just be together for a while." She kissed his forehead.

And so, pained a little, Chuck held Blair in his arms, both on their backs staring up at the ceiling, absentmindedly every now and so often, three words escaped their lips, as they were still unable to believe they had said them as last.

the end


End file.
